Good Hair Day


Salam lads
Am back in the land of the 2 holy Mosques lads – that’s Saudi Arabia to you, or the Kingdom Of Saudi Arabia as we often say out here. Spent a very pleasant week in Dubai last week and got in a few photo shoots for you all. Today’s pics come from the Dubai Creek area where a huge amount of boat trade is done with neighbouring countries such as Iran across the Persian Gulf, and even as far away as Somalia on the African east coast. The traditional Arabic timber boats get loaded up with consumer goodies and sold for profit in places where such goodies are hard come by. Hope you like the pics.

IMG_5546Mar

Reaction to last week’s HX was very mixed lads. Many enjoyed MBs spin on world events as usual and were in orgasmic rapture about the the mega pics. But MB received almost violent reaction from some Indian followers of the HX lads. And what were they on about you might ask? Well lads, they informed MB that when they read the title last week (reference to ‘Birds’) and then MB started talking about all the stunning leggy Russian girls he saw in Fujairah hotel – the Indian lads were sure MB was going to include many pics of the Russian birds!!!

IMG_5554Mar

And they were mightily disappointed that MB was referring pics of the feathery birds, and not pics of long legged Russian ones. What was I to do lads? Most of the husbands/boyfriends of the Ruskie babes were Russian bear types, with no necks from all the military training, and am sure any of them could have snapped MB’s neck with their little finger. So MB left the zoom lens in the camera bag, and for once put his health & welfare before the needs of the Crosser brethern. And MB has lived to tell the tale. Enough said lads.

IMG_5561Mar

Hello to ‘The Ms’ who met MB in Dubai last week and are now back in HX eating the non-Muslim bacon, pork, sausages, rashers and all things tasty. Inshallah you will visit Dubai again in the future.

Onwards lads.

IMG_5569Mar


Good Hair Day

There I was in the shower in Dubai last week ladies. The water was perfect temperature as it flowed over the lean muscular body of MB. A little sunlight filtered through the open window and glistened brightly on the bulging MB shoulder muscles. Cool down ladies please – this story is about MB hair and not about MB body.

IMG_5572Mar

Anyway ladies, there I was, as naked as the day I was born, whistling a tune, with not a care in the world at that particular moment. Enjoying my ‘man shower‘. And what is a ‘man shower‘ MB? Well ladies a ‘man shower’ is a shower taken by the average man. It lasts approx 3 minutes, which is just enough time to get wet, apply the shampoo, clean off same, turn off water and dry the ‘man body‘. It is the complete opposite to ‘woman shower‘ or ‘girl shower’ or ‘lady shower’ – which are known to take hours in duration and deplete scarce water resources in many regions of the world. But you have caused me to digress ladies. Back to my story……

IMG_5575

Thirty seconds into the MB ‘man shower’ ladies, MB reaches for the shampoo. Horror of horrors – no shampoo! Or as I would say if I was an Arab – mafi shampoo! WTF! Sudden panic attack ladies. MB likes his shampoo for the standard 20 second usage. But it was not going to be this time ladies – due to ‘mafi shampoo‘. So MB then eyed some ‘conditioner’ – that must have been left over by a previous female tenant of the property, as we all know that only women use this muck, and no manly man would ever be caught dead using the stuff. But sometimes ladies – needs must – as they say, and in absence of shampoo, MB slapped a little conditioner on his head.

IMG_5578

And then ladies, MB had his Eureka moment! MB goes to the young Indian barber lads regularly and gets the Nr 1 blade on the sides and back, with the Nr 4 blade on top. The young Indian barber lads do not even ask MB any more what he wants. They know the spec. It never changes.

So ladies, MB is essentially hairless. Therefore MB has no use for shampoo, or the girlie conditioner. A quick rub of the soap bar on his 6-Pack stomach (max 5 seconds) serves the exact same purpose. And now MB does not need to buy shampoo – ever again! Financial savings will ensue, maybe a little extra can now be set aside for the chocolate budget – for example, and all will be well with the world. Joy of joys!

IMG_5580Mar

So ladies. Take a look at your man’s head. Does he really need ‘volumising‘ or the ‘moisturising’ or the ‘for normal hair types‘ that you pick up for him in Tesco each week, or in the Carrafour out this neck of the woods. May I suggest experiment ladies. For one week only, when the shampoo bottle is almost empty, do not buy another bottle, leave small bar of soap in the shower, and wait for the reaction. You may get pleasant surprise!

IMG_5589Mar


Saudi Fatwas & The Ladies

Interesting (for some) article on ‘Fatwas‘ lads. Religious pronouncements made by Muslim Imams/Priests normally, sometimes absolutely ridiculous and without any basis other than their own limited view of the world and warped view of their own religion:

IMG_5591Mar


Suddenly the net was flooded with all manners of fatwas or edicts. Some seemed sound and rational while others bordered on the ridiculous. There was a fatwa which called for the separation of the genders to prevent the mingling of the sexes at Islam’s holiest worship site in Makkah by adding extra floors around the Kaaba and dedicating one solely for women.

Another fatwa which defied foundation and drew a lot of ridicule was the one that called for working women to breast feed their male associates at the workplace, thus developing a symbolic bond between unrelated men and women who regularly come into contact with each other and making it permissible for women to mingle with the males there. And then there was the fatwa against women driving.

IMG_5595Mar

UAE Thinking & The Ladies
The biggest defenders of the political status quo in Dubai and the rest of the UAE are local women. And a big reason is that they can see the bullshit lives that Muslim women have to tolerate in many Arab countries, and are extremely grateful for the freedoms that exist in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and the other Emirates. The below article shows the huge contrast that exists between UAE & Saudi Arabia for example, which are neighbouring states. Its not all plain sailing as the article states but at least there is a tolerant and forward thinking mindset amongst the UAE leaders:

IMG_5619Mar

The evolution of women’s role in UAE society has been spurred by the leadership’s recognition of the pivotal role women can play in economic and social development. It is a testament to the government’s strategic vision to enhance their roles in both the public and private spheres and to ensure that all career options are open to them.

IMG_5624Mar

The Gay Mormon & Coming Out

Read the below story during the week lads about a young Mormon lad who decided to video his coming out to family and friends over the period of a year as he broke the news to them all that he was gay. Amusing to say the least.

It reminded me of similar incident in my own past many years back. No lads, I was not ‘coming out’ for God sake,  you are having a laugh surely lads. But very good friend of mine decided that it was time for him to break to news to all his friends that he was gay, and he decided that MB would be his guinea pig and the first lad he would hit with the good news.

IMG_5629Mar
Gay Friend (GF): MB my friend, I have some big news for you.
MB: What?
GF: I am gay, homo, etc
MB: What’s ‘etc’?
GF: ‘Etc’ was joke MB
MB: So was my question, hahahaha!
GF: So what’s your reaction MB? To fact that I am coming out to you, and selected you to be the first to whom I would give the news?
MB: I dont care what you or anyone else gets up to in the privacy of your bedrooms GF, or anywhere else for that matter. Or what your ‘orientation’ is. Makes absolutely no difference to me. You are friend but from now on you may call yourself ‘GF’ if you wish.
GF: Thanks MB, So it makes no difference?
MB: I don’t care if the entire world is gay GF. Apart from fact that I would have to find hetrosexual alien women from outer space to make a few babies with, and save the entire human/alien race with my reproduction activities.
GF: Jesus!
MB: No – MB!

To be continued next week……..

Indian Women & Smartphones

Lots of hassle for ladies in India as we have seen from some serious disturbing recent stories from the subcontinent. the smartphone is finding new uses:

IMG_5652Mar

Reluctant Emigrant – Ping Pong

Thanks to DH for another good one this week.

http://thereluctantemigrant.wordpress.com/

IMG_5672

HX Report – The times they are a changin!

Met up with mentor & mother figure DH last week in Dubai lads, and she got me thinking. DH is author of the above referred Reluctant Emigrant blog and like MB she too in the past sent out weekly blog email. But she no longer does so, as she uses a facility on this blog website to invite everyone to ‘follow’ the blog. This means that if you accept the invitation to ‘follow’ then you will receive the blog automatically by email, and MB will not have to send out any more emails. Enabling him to give more time to his creative genius and produce yet more side splitting and highly intellectual ‘stuff’ for you all. Masha’allah!

IMG_5676Mar

So expect invite from MB during next few days lads and become a HX Report – FOLLOWER

IMG_5679


Take care ladies

That’s it for another week ladies. A pleasure as ever. Take care, and don’t forget – when you receive the email – become a FOLLOWER!

IMG_5688Mar


MB

IMG_5702Mar-2

Happy Valentines!


Greetings ladies

It’s Valentine’s Day ladies and am only thinking of my female Crossers of course. So big Middle East greetings and affection to you all, where ever you are sunning yourselves.

Am sure your man gave you the traditional flowers or chocolate, but MB is far more adventurous than that ladies and now has much Arabic influence on his brain to expand the possibilities. So ladies – just for you – I give you the following – as special gifts for the day that’s in it:


Spice powder castle

SpiceMar


Forget the blue tablets ladies. We have natural solution for you man’s problem. But its a honey mixture only for the ‘married’. Any ‘singles’ caught in possession are immediately jailed, as we know what they are up to – totally and utterly haram.

HoneyMar

This weeks photos have no consistent theme ladies, and are a mish/mash of few shots I took in last week or two. Am revisiting some places that I showed you previously, plus a few new locations.

Clouds over North Riyadh construction site. I have noticed that Muslim clouds and Christian clouds are the exact same.

Afghan Clouds


We Saudis are sadly starting to turn away from the traditional arranged marriages ladies, where some local Biddy will receive contact from family elders seeking partner for some lad or lass that has come of age and needs to be married off. She will take fat fee, and guarantee everlasting love and happiness, resulting from the suitable partner she will unearth from under some desert rock or where ever.
But no lads, that is not good enough for some of us any more. We are turning to on-line match makers, where we can take a look at some pics and actually see what we are marrying. Fast disappearing is the thrill of your first night of marriage with a partner that you maybe have never seen previously, or seen briefly only once or twice. This can not be progress lads. I fear we are losing our way. Absolutely no good can come of it. Um Sami is also none pleased!

The cooking pot at the Afghani cafe where MB has been eating the mutton stew & arabic bread of late. Masha’allah! The chef tends to put in lots of raw sugar with many (all) of his mixtures. MB told him to cop himself on with the sugar, and just trust the food to speak for itself. Think he really appreciated the astute culinary advise of Irish Michelin 3 Star chef MB.

Afghan Pot


Riyadh: In ultra-conservative Saudi Arabia, where the sexes are strictly segregated, traditional matchmakers face tough competition from blossoming marriage services on online social networks.

More than 200 Twitter users and dozens of other forums on the internet offer services for Saudi men and women seeking spouses, angering matchmakers like Um Sami who sees it as “organised prostitution.”

“Social networks undermine our work and everything they offer is virtual: they use nicknames and they are not reliable,” said Um Sami, an elderly woman and well-established matchmaker from the Red Sea city of Jeddah.

For her, many of these websites are “fraudulent” and some are even an organised form of prostitution.

“Marriage via online platforms is one hundred per cent doomed to failure,” she said, stressing that only her traditional matchmaking method can lead to a successful marriage.

For matchmakers like Um Sami the business has flourished by word of mouth…………..

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/online-matchmaking-a-hit-with-saudi-couples-1.1146326
And did you know ladies that St Valentine himself is buried in Dublin? If you are struggling to find that amusing rugged handsome stinking rich type ladies, you only need to run down to Whitefriar St, touch the coffin or alter with your hand, and within 24 hours, hey presto, your new man will appear. Unlike the on-line matches mentioned above ladies, this is 100% certain to produce the results. Best of luck!—

Sunset up the street from the Afghan cafe.

Afghan sunset

 
St Valentine
 
Was St Valentine a true blue Dub?

JUST about everybody knows that St Valentine is the patron saint of lovers. You may have known that he was a priest in Rome in the third century, and if you’re really on top of your game, you may even have been aware that he died in jail, but you probably didn’t know that his final resting place is Dublin. 

In fact the good priests of the Carmelite Order have been looking after his remains in their priory in Whitefriar St, just off Aungier St in Dublin, for over 160 years.

We have a good deal of information about St Valentine, but separating the fact from the legend is a bit like trying to separate a teenage couple at a school disco.

Fertility festival
It seems he was martyred in 269, supposedly for marrying couples against the wishes of Emperor Claudius II who felt that single men made better soldiers. Legend would have it that he died for his faith on February 14th of that year, and that this is why we celebrate him on that day. However, it’s likely that the fact that we celebrate St Valentine at this time of year is more to do with the ancient Roman spring fertility festival of Lupercalia, which like many other pagan holidays was christianised when in 498 Pope Gelasius decreed that February 14th would be St Valentine’s Day.

But how did a Roman Martyr, who had never even set foot in what was later to become an island of saints and scholars, end up in a Dublin church.

In the 1820′ and 30’s, a Carmelite priest by the name of John Spratt had earned a reputation for his work with the destitute citizens of Dublin’s Liberties. A man of apparently boundless energy, Spratt started the building process of the Carmelite church in nearby Whitefriar St in 1825.

Exhumed
Ten years later, he was invited to speak at the Jesuit Church in Rome, the Gesu. The elite of Rome came to hear him, including representatives of Pope Gregory XVI. As a token of recognition of the work of Spratt, the Pope ordered the exhumation of the remains of St Valentine from St Hippolytus cemetery near Rome to be shipped to Whitefriar St Church, in Dublin.

In November 1836, the remains were received with great pomp and ceremony, but with the death of Spratt some years later, the remains ceased to be of major public interest.
 
Some 40 years ago however, they were restored to the public eye having gathered dust for decades in the nether regions of the priory, and are now featured in a purpose-built shrine in the church itself.

This year on February 14th, at 11am and 3.15pm, as has become customary, there will be a special celebration of St Valentine in the place where he now rests, Whitefriar St Church. Carmelite priest, Fr Tony McKenny will celebrate mass and conduct a ring blessing ceremony for engaged and married couples.

It would appear that neither cohabiting couples nor teenagers need apply!


Took shot of this guy at the golf last weekend lads. He did not appear to have much interest in the goings on.

Bird
Music
Spotted this on Fb during the week lads when one of my pals posted up. Good happy clappy one to put a smile on your faces:

Everyone who attended the golf last weekend got free 4×4 Mercedes. Just for showing up to give our support. Long live Sheikh Mo.
Mercedes

Dubai

Another tourism project given the green light by Sheikh Mo during the week lads. Should be a good one. Will be located in Dubai Marina. We are good to go:
“I love the smell of traffic fumes in the morning” – from the movie ‘Apocalypse Now’. North Riyadh street. Right next to the Imam University – a production line for Saudi Imams.

Pylons & traffic

Dubai Parking

And with 3M+ visitors expected at the above venture lads our cars will need the latest in parking technology. Just let the robot take care of it for you lads.
“There is nothing as majestic as a pylon” – MB

Pylon

Ballyneety GC

Want to wish all involved the best of luck in their attempts to revive local Golf Club at home. Was great social and sporting outlet before it closed few years ago.
Arab lad gets an oil change, car out of pic.

Car oil change
DH – The Reluctant Emigrant
Thanks to DH for trying to sort out all the red tape lads. Read on:
Regardless of where you are living lads, you will always need the puncture repair facility. 

Car Puncture
And the puncture repair lad. God bless him.

Car tyre man
The Alter Tomb

Want to mention writer and Guinness drinker MQ from the HX heartland back in Ireland lads, who published mini novel at tail end of last year. It’s fictional account of a tomb he discovered in a local graveyard dating from 1618. The story also features a character we featured in this blog long time back – one John Murphy who is buried in grave in same place, also discovered by MQ, and has inscription on his gravestone that he was 219 years old when he died (I gave you all pic of this headstone previously lads).The novel, and that piece of the story in particular, got front page publicity in the local LL newspaper at home recently, about one year after the HX report on same!

MQ

MQ
The Alter Tomb from 1618

Alter Tomb
 

English words from Arabic
I am dedicating this piece to Crosser JMc lads who is a wordsmith in her own right. Is on a sabbatical at present from her writing career with the HX. Inshallah she comes back soon.You will be surprised to learn so many English words have Arabic origin lads, if you give a damn in the first place. You really are full of BS this week MB‘, I can hear many of you shouting lads. But sometimes lads we just don’t know what is good for us, and it takes gurus like MB to point it out.
Thanks to Crosser MC for sending pic of his gaff in Sweden to MB. Free accommodation is available for all Crossers at MCs house – all year round lads, but limited to 30 day max stay, when MC & his missus will vacate the master bedroom to allow Crossers to feel very much at home in Sweden. Big thanks MC.

Mossy hse
Oman
Nothing like an Arab Spring to get the rulers to loosen the purse strings lads. The Omani people will now reap the rewards:
But in the end lads we are all heading to the same place. The Graveyard at Grange Church, HX. Pic from my trip home at Christmas. 

IMG_4085Mar

Adios ladies (& Happy Val)
That’s it for another week. Regards to all. Enjoy your weekend.

MB

Swingers


Salam to all lads.

We are blessed with favourable weather in the Middle East at present, albeit still a tad cool to be jumping into the swimming pool – before noon at least! But even in our short sleeve shirts the gentle breeze in the winter sunshine is refreshingly welcome. Inshallah we will have another 3 months or so of same before the temps start to get to the uncomfortable levels again.


Beer sellers enjoy MBs joke!

IMG_4812Mar

Europe’s best golfers were swinging their clubs in Dubai last weekend at the Emirates GC lads, across the road from Dubai Marina. MB managed to get down for few hours on Sunday to mix with the great and the good, and most of this week’s photos are from same. Big thanks to Crosser PMc for getting the entry tickets (with Clubhouse Pass) for MB. May your own clubs provide you with a bounty of birdies in the years to come Mr P – a sort of a Golfer’s prayer lads in thanks.

Practice makes perfect
IMG_4821Mar

—–


Silence is Golden

Was having a chat with a friend at work today lads when his phone rang. He immediately launched into a frenzied conversation in Arabic which went on for some time, with much hand movement as is the practice out here. Upon completion of the conversation he clicked the ‘End’ button, and a little red faced from the stressful call he had taken, he turned to MB and said:

“Arabs, why do they have to talk so much? That guy called me to make a very small point, but of course he felt the need to give me his entire life history at the same time. There is a reason Mr Mike that God gave us all 2 ears and only 1 mouth – he wants us to listen more and talk less”

Now I must explain lads that my colleague & friend is 100% Arab himself, born & bred, so his comments were not what you might sometimes hear from some donkey expat with zero brain cells. No lads, this was coming from the horses mouth, and he was also making the profound point about listening more than talking. I assured him it is the Irish way. He smiled,  happy in new knowledge that there is one place on the planet that is oasis of listening. If only he knew the truth!

This couple caught my eye lads (hehe!) Dubai is a fashion & style fest all year round. There are really no restrictions on how you dress as long as its reasonably modest and does not give offence, bearing in mind local sensibilities, religion and customs. The neighbouring Emirate of Sharjah passed a rule in recent weeks preventing tight clothes that emphasis body shape or reveal too much flesh. Presumable this young lady has Dubai address
IMG_4931Mar

Balls!
IMG_4823Mar
—–


Dubai News – Sheikh Mo

Sheikh Mo has done it yet again lads, God bless every royal & regal inch of him.

It doesn’t get any more Regal than this lads
Sheikh Mo

The Palm Jumeirah Island is one of the most exclusive residential addresses on the Planet lads, but is short of a decent shopping mall. The world renowned Mall Of The Emirates (with real ski slope) is 15 mins away, but you really don’t want to be wasting your time shopping with poor people.

So what does Sheikh Mo go and do lads? Yes lads, he simply issues royal instruction to the Palm developers (Nakheel) to crack on immediately with a new mega mall plus hotels plus other stuff, and have it ready by 2016 for a bit of shopping for the locals. When complete lads they will be able to cut 12 mins off their shopping trip as they make the 3 minute trip down to the new local. Masha’allah!

That is how it’s done lads, Dubai style, Sheikh Mo style. Let it be a lesson to you all lads. Long live our hero Sheikh Mo!

http://www.emirates247.com/news/emirates/nakheel-mall-on-palm-jumeirah-set-to-open-in-2016-2013-02-07-1.494218

Quote from Sheikh Mo earlier this week (tear in my eye as I read):

“Before evaluating the future, we have to take a quick look at the past, for it is the foundation of tomorrow”His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum

The golf  shopping area with Marina in background
IMG_4826Mar

A wayward golf ball lands next to MBs feet
IMG_4935Mar

—–


Comics

My blog received a follower a few weeks back lads and I noticed that the guy in question was also a follower of another blogger called ‘The Oatmeal’. The name intrigued me so I looked up The Oatmeal. What a laugh. Brilliant intelligent comics of the ‘laugh out loud’ variety. To MB’s sense of humour at least. Giving you one of his comics this week called:

‘When your house is burning down you should wash your teeth’
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/house

Hats off to The Oatmeal.


Golfer follows the trajectory of his ball & hopes for the best

IMG_4940Mar


Bird in the 5 Star Emirates GC Clubhouse – a bird with taste

IMG_4838Mar


Swinger Nr 1

IMG_4927Mar
—–


UAE Visa Amnesty

Mentioned the UAE visa amnesty last week lads. Is throwing up some hardship cases for the authorities to deal with. Friend of mine did a deal with the authorities in recent weeks. Got a reduced penalty, which was still a substantial sum, and paid it off. Now he is free to exit and enter the UAE as he pleases. He visited him family in England last week for first time in twelve months.

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/general/amnesty-presents-hard-choice-for-mother-of-five-1.1141486?utm_content=&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Newsletter&utm_campaign=&utm_term=%26270919


Fans follow the ball flight

IMG_4842Mar


Crossing the fairway

IMG_4932Mar

—–


Saudi Women

The Saudi Arabian Labour Ministry will now allow the Saudi women to work in Pharmacies lads. They will issue some rules shortly and the ladies are good to go. Allah u akbar.

Media City in background as golfer & caddy walk towards the green
IMG_4850Mar


Fans

IMG_4922Mar

—–


Training & Weight Loss

Giving you all 5 unusual tips to aid your fitness & weight loss training ladies. All with scientific basis, but you will not have heard previously!

http://gulfnews.com/life-style/five-strange-fitness-tips-that-work-1.1142524

Rest area out on the course

IMG_4853Mar
Towers
IMG_4909Mar
—–

Wearing the Burqa

One Saudi Imam got himself in bit of trouble this week lads. Most considered his call for very young girls to wear the Abiya/Burqa as extreme and bringing bad publicity on Islam religion.
Official shooter puts MB camera in the shade!

Firm wrists, swing it like a pendulum!
IMG_4905Mar

Scoreboard
IMG_4876Mar
—–
The End
That’s it for this week lads. Enjoy the weekend. Wrap up tightly if you are in Europe. Get out the shades if you are in the Middle East! Take care lads.

You will only see umbrellas in Middle East used as protection from the sun. the ladies like to keep the skin wrinkle free
IMG_4856Mar


Dubai Marina towers provide spectacular background to the golf

IMG_4890Mar

I prefer it in B&W!

IMG_4891Mar


Swinger Nr 2
IMG_4899Mar

MB
__