HX Report
Irishman in the Middle East
Sri Lanka – Colombo
Posted on September 5, 2013
Morning boys & girls
Inshallah you are all hale & hearty, and thriving. MB is taking yet another visa trip back to UAE later today, as you gotta stay legal out these parts or they run you out of town real quick. Read More
Sri Lanka – Time for tea
Posted on August 23, 2013
Morning lads
A week of toil under the hot sun of Saudi Arabia is behind MB and he has arrived in Dubai for the weekend. Al hamd’allah. Hope all well your end. Read More
Motherless
Posted on August 2, 2013
Morning lads
Major panic last night. Laptop conked out when battery died. MB tried to recharge, but over period of few hours battery just wouldn’t take charge, and normally obedient laptop downright refused to turn on. What to do at time like that?!
The Recipe
Posted on June 13, 2013
Greetings lads
It’s only a few short days away from MB’s departure back to the homeland, to kith and kin. MB will take break from the blogging for few weeks ’till he gets back from the Emerald Isle. But as will be burning out the camera with pics, will post up some good ones for all Crosser followers to drool over. Yes lads, drooling will be the order of the day for you all over next few weeks. Inshallah the sun will shine when MB is at home and he will blow you away with the awesome images. Read More
Conversations
Posted on May 31, 2013
Salam from Riyadh
It’s a balmy Saudi evening outside the hotel entrance door as MB writes his blog. Meanwhile, inside the lobby, MB is listening to the loudest painters making the loudest noises since Michael Angelo (another legendary Michael) dropped his bucket from the ceiling scaffold onto the marble floor miles below all those years ago. The artists in front of me are presently giving a touch-up to the ceiling which suffered some water damage during the recent 3 week monsoon. If you have seen the movie ‘Best Marigold Hotel’ you will get the picture. Each time the long-handled roller is dipped into the metal paint bucket it is producing a sonic wave throughout the entire city and structural damage is already reported to some major bridges. MB needs Panadol, or something stronger, asap. Or maybe MB is just tired and cranky after a busy week in the dusty desert. Maybe.
MB would seriously love a large cold bottle of White to relax the brain and quench the thirst, but such life pleasures are strictly forbidden in this stricter than strict Island of Islamic. If MB was in any other jurisdiction on the entire planet, a bottle from the ‘new world’ would presently be planked on the table in front of him with a long-stemmed glass sparkling in the evening sunshine . Or if that location happened to be some 3rd World haunt, then maybe a bottle of some local hooch would suffice, and the thirst would also be no more. So the thirst remains for the moment and the solution must await MBs return to the homeland next month alas.
Yes indeed lads, MB is heading home to kith & kin next month which coincides with the HX Festival. To be very truthful there is actually no HX Festival. But there are 3 festivals happening at same time in the surrounding localities. So MB will refer to them collectively as the ‘HX Festival’. In recent days it was announced in the local Press that Caroline Kennedy, daughter of assassinated US President JFK, will attend the event on account of the family connection with the HX locality. MB explained to some non-Irish Muslim Arabs yesterday that the ‘F’ in ‘JFK’ stands for the Irish name ‘Fitzgerald’. In 1852 one Thomas Fitzgerald emigrated from HX and a few generations later his grandson was President of the USA. The emigrant story that dreams are made of. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caroline_Kennedy
The HX Festival will host a multitude of other events and MB will give you all the full itinerary next week. One event does however merit special early mention. Namely, the Photo Workshop hosted by none other than Irish/Arab Photo Shooter Supreme MB! Yes indeedee lads, for the paltry miserly sum of 20 Shekels (Euro) you can partake in the MB Photo Master Class at the HX lake front, which will ensure that you too can produce the Nat Geo standard pics that MB produces week in week out for the blog, and which you have now come to expect as a right. MB will not be bringing his camel, in case you were wondering, although he would provide nice backdrop to some shots. (Note to self – rethink the camel). It’s not yet publicised lads, but already the class is almost full, so get your booking application in asap.
It is not yet known if Caroline will book in for the Photo session with MB. Ok, MB will admit she is stinking rich multi millionairess with access to the entire professional photographer class of USA, probably for free. But have any of those Yankee Dog photographers ever produced an irreverent weekly blog from the land of beheadings and limb amputations? I am sure not lads. And could any of them milk a cow by hand, or make a wynde of hay with a pitchfork, or castrate a young bull turning him into a useless mutant good for nothing other than burger production? Yes lads, I think you will all agree – Caroline would indeed be selling herself very short if she chose other than MB. Inshallah she will choose wisely.
What else to tell you lads? Conversations lads, yes, conversations.
A few days back MB was traveling home from work in the company of an Aussie coworker and the young Sudan lad that MB has mentioned few times in the blog of late. MB & Aussie (Whities) sat in the front sea while Sudan lad (non-Whitie) sat in the back. All in their rightful place lads, hahahahaha! Joke lads – In case any followers with sub 150 IQ levels might be thinking MB has turned into some kind of racist Neanderthal. But am sure the blog has no sub 150 followers as it’s a minimum entry requirement.
Anyway MB & Aussie were shooting the breeze about the events of the past & the coming months. MB mentioned the HX Fest, photography, some wineries MB had visited on trip down under few years back. Aussie mentioned upcoming 25 holiday he will take on a beach down under, when he & surf board will hit the waves for few hours each morning. Wifey will set up camera on a tripod on some headland overlooking the waves to get the awesome shots of husband exiting the wave tubes just in time. Remainder of the days will be filled with restaurants, bit of shopping, friends. The good life down under.
We dropped Aussie to his hotel when MB gave permission to Sudan lad to sit in front seat! Sudan lad then said to MB – “MB, what the hell was that conversation?”. “What the f*ck are you on about Sudan lad” replied MB. “That entire conversation you had with Aussie, with talk of surf boards, festivals, photography – it was a totally and completely Whitie conversation. Two people from the 3rd world could not have had it. They would not even have understood it” shot back Sudan lad.
For once MB shut his mouth, and reflected on what Sudan lad had said. And came to conclusion that Sudan lad had said a mouthful. All conversations are products of our backgrounds. Pretty obvious I suppose when you think about it, but MB never had. Maybe you need to work in places like this to sometimes see the obvious, or have it shown to you.
This Weeks Pics
Are all from last years HX Festival, to give you flavour.
Hypnosurf
Mentioned Aussie pal above lads. He is very interesting character in his own right. Along with the day job he has spent time in recent years designing a self hypnosis app for surfers, designed to get them to perform at highest level every time, rather than the hit& miss performance that many experience during a surfing season. Now available for iPhone & Android. Am wondering if this app could be applied to other sports like tennis or golf? What say you Mr M?
So check it out lads on http://www.hypnosurf.com
Bare Breasts!
Saw on the net yesterday that 3 young European girls made a topless protest outside a courthouse where a young Muslim girl is being tried for upsetting some Salafist Muslim group and allegedly insulting Islam. I hope the embassies of the 3 girls get them home quick. Such behaviour out these parts is very much ‘haram’ and would be considered akin to behaving like a prostitute (‘sharmuta’ in the Arabic). And you will never hear any words of sympathy out here for sharmuta or any sympathetic words why girls might get into that game like you might do in the west. So MB hoping they get tickets home real fast. They will not receive kind treatment in prison if they sentenced. To put it mildly.
As for the Muslim girl, she previously posted a topless photo of herself on facebook, which caused huge controversy. Although this is not why she is on trial. Read both links below if of interest:
http://arabia.msn.com/news/world/1886342/3-femen-women-held-in-tunis-after-baring-breasts-afp/
http://gulfnews.com/news/region/tunisia/feminist-on-trial-topless-protesters-held-1.1190787
Note to Muslim visitors – do not eat John Finn’s sausages – they are pork (khanzeer) so haram for you. Ask him for beef burger instead.
Harassment in Saudia Arabia
MB has told you all many times that the Saudi version of Islam is stricter than strict, and laughed at by people of other Islamic countries. Some of the behaviour seen here would probably get people locked in mental institutions in other countries, but not here.
This week some nutball religious conservative posted a suggestion on Twitter that people should harass women working in shopping centres to show them the error of their ways and prevent them becoming sharmuta. Thankfully, in a sign that the country might be going in a different direction, hundreds of Twitter people turned on the guy. But others supported him. Such is the thinking, sadly, of many in thee parts. MB read in separate report that Muslim Imams (Priests) are making weekly presentations to the office of the Ruler, King Abdullah, to change the law to ensure that women could no longer work in shops and shopping centres. Crazy in any other country. But not here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-22705573
In a related story MB saw the following from a fellow blogger earlier this week. No comment:
Kuwait shows respect for Saudi women driving ban
Last Thursday, Brig. Saleh Al-Najim, the head of a Kuwaiti delegation, stated that out of respect for the Saudi ban on women driving, his country will make the exception of not issuing driving licenses to Saudi women until they provide proof of their male guardian’s permission. I’m shocked and disappointed that the Kuwaiti government would exploit how politically weak Saudi women are to gain favor. But that isn’t why I’m writing this post. I’m writing it because this particular tactic of expressing an opinion about a sovereign nation’s internal laws by altering yours is something that has occurred to me before. A few years back I either dreamed or read somewhere that a politician proposed to the European Union that Saudi men not be allowed to drive in the EU until they end the ban on women driving in Saudi. Judging by the last Olympics, that type of restriction on Saudi men could actually work in making a change. How weird would it be for those banning people from driving their hard-earned cars because of their gender to have a taste of their own medicine?
My watch!
Like this story. Husband presented future wife with expensive watch as gift. Watch broke and upon taking it for repair wife was informed that the watch was a fake! She is now divorcing the cheapskate husband:
http://www.chopard.com/?___store=en_gb&___from_store=en_gb
Malala
Nice to see Pakistani girl Malala Jousafzai in Abu Dhabi last week to say thanks for the air ambulance supplied by UAE to take her to UK for treatment after she was shot by the Pakistani Taliban in her Swat valley homeland. Still under a death sentence from the crazies. She met with future ruler Shaikh Mohammad Bin Zayed Al Nihayn, son of UAE ruler.
Reluctant Emigrant
Have not had chance to read DH blog this week. Think it’s about the expat wife and kids heading back to the cooler climates of the west leaving hubby to toil under the hot desert sun:
http://thereluctantemigrant.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/annual-migration-2/
Adios lads!
Have a nice weekend. I see some sunshine appeared in the Irish this week after long absence. Inshallah it continues to shine.
Take care all.
MB
Marhaba
Posted on May 16, 2013
Salam lads
May you all have some salam/peace in your lives. Its a good thing to have for sure.
Mentioned last week that we had some heavy rains out these parts in recent weeks. MB also mention the tornado that he recently got caught up in (& survived) and the earthquake that shook the UAE that had its epicenter in Iran. We certainly don’t do weather stuff out here by half. If MB saw a swarm of locusts outside the hotel this evening he wouldn’t be half surprised.
So just to give you break from the jaw-dropping shots of famous world structures and places of recent weeks lads, MB has decided to give you some pics this week of the recent weather. Took a few shots coming home for work on night of the tornado, plus sat outside the hotel that night and took a few Nat Geo standard shots, for sport, of passing cars as the rains fell. Both arty & awesome then MB? For sure lads!
We are now back to to the regular hot hot hot. Today was circa 40 degrees and not at all exciting for the camera, just too bright, so it’s now packed away until MBs June trip back home.
Big congrats to MB on reaching 40 blogs this week on this website. Thanks lads. Granted, some of the blogs are single shot photos in the Weekly Photo Challenge thingy, but they all count officially. And in their own way are as equally awesome as the regular effort you will agree.
Was a busy week workwise and the brain a tad tired. But we persevere lads. Onwards!
Music
One of the comments says that Bob Dylan said this song was written by God. It’s probably true.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq3YLhtuzTQ
Thought
Stumbled across this earlier in the week on one of the blogs I follow:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat on you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa
Maharaba
Have mentioned the Afghan restaurant where MB goes on occasion to you previously lads. It’s bit (or a lot) 3rd worldish, with flies having free reign and the decor & furniture certainly not of the 5 Star variety. If you are into hygiene and all things clean, then do not look too carefully at the plate you are eating from, or the basket that holds your delicious hot bread which has come straight from the mud oven. The little dish that holds the obligatory side order (served with everything) of raw chopped onions and raw green chillies will also not allow you to see your reflection.
But there is not a single piece of processed food in any of the steel pots that contain the tasty grub. And as MB has said to you previously, he suspects the very tasty mutton is killed and skinned out back behind some sheets of plywood before landing few minutes later in the mutton pot in the kitchen. It doesn’t come any fresher than that lads! (must take look back there next time). In any event, the human body seems to develop a resistance over a few visits to anything that might more normally prove terminal, allowing the regular punters to just concentrate on enjoying the fine food and bottled water.
The Aghani staff are all very friendly types with smiles on faces when MB and others enter, and it’s generally part of the custom to shake a few hands on entering. For MB at least. The natives are always welcoming and seemingly happy to see a rare Westie enter the premises to eat amongst them. MB suspects that he is only one of one Westie who does. In all MBs visits he has experienced only an open friendly welcome and some natural curiosity about the part of the world MB comes from – and is he Amriki?. La, Irelandee boys, not too far from Britawnya.
But MB had different experience yesterday when he went in for the evening meal. Was a staff lad sitting watching TV in middle of the small eating area and upon passing MB extended his hand, greeting the lad with a ‘marhaba/hello’. The lad was dressed in typical Afghani dress and had the beard and head gear of a conservative Muslim. Not that his appearance mattered to MB, who takes all as he finds them.
The lad did not accept the hand of MB and for a second or two MB thought he was distracted by the TV programme he was watching. But after another second or two it was obvious that the lad just did not want to acknowledge or accept MBs greeting. So MB withdrew his hand and proceeded to the food area to place his order from the owner who had no issue to shake the hand of MB and whom he knows well at this stage. With a strong honest grip and a wide friendly smile on his face.
MB was in the company of his young Sudanese friend, a Muslim lad himself, who was intrigued as to why Afghani lad would refuse to shake the hand of MB. So on finishing our food young Sudani challenges young Afghani in the Arabic language. And the following is more or less the conversation that followed, with the Afghani giving his answer and reasoning for his behavior:
“Why did you refuse to take the hand of the Westie?”
“Because I want to refuse and because I hate him. Is he American or British? Damn his soul to hell if he is”
“No, he is Irish”
“It’s the same”
“And what if he is a Muslim? Or not. How can you judge the man before you know him?”
“Is he a Muslim?”
“No, he is not”
“Then I did not misjudge him”
MB could analyse the above conversation ’till the cows come home. But he won’t. It’s said that education is the solution to most of the world’s problems. MB agrees.
Don Of All Trades
Want to introduce you to a blogger that I follow who writes some very funny stuff, usually. Unusual name – and a multi-tasker by the sounds of it. If you like your food or cooking, the following DOAT blog will be to your liking and put a big smile on your face. MB was in stitches reading it. Brilliantly funny composition!
http://donofalltrades.com/2013/05/09/chopped-a-time-i-didnt-win-10000/#comment-1799
Syrian Women
Not a good time to be a Syrian woman. Especially if you are single, and your family have no money or food, and maybe you are stuck in a refugee camp in Turkey or Jordan hundreds or thousands of miles from home, with very little hope. In such desperate circumstances a young woman can become a possibly solution of sorts for her family, but at terrible cost. Which would not happen if times and circumstances in Syria were different. But this is life for many at the moment:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-22473573
Dubai Police Force Cars
This story is still getting great PR for brand Dubai on the net. And they are not finished yet.
Irish Bus Strike
Ireland had a bus drivers strike during the week. Was interesting to read that the head of Bus Eireann (the bus company) lives permanently in Dubai, and just goes to work each day via skype! The tone of the reports was not generally favourable as you can imagine. But if those Irish journalist do-dos stopped to think about it – why would a lad like him who can afford to do so, chose to live in wet & miserable Ireland when he can have 24/7/365 heat and a 5 star life of luxury in Dubai Marina. No contest!
Palm Island Hotel
And in case the bus lad needs another plush 5 Star to head to for after-work (after-skype) cocktails he will shortly have a 200M Euro hotel to visit on the Palm Jumairah, 5 mins drive from the Marina where he can shoot the breeze with fellow expats and gargle the fine beverages in the tax free Dubai sunshine.Allah u akbar!
https://mail.google.com/mail/ca/u/0/?ui=2&shva=1#inbox/13eabf9b77efa240
Reluctant Emigrant – DH
http://thereluctantemigrant.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/136-sharing-is-caring/
So long lads
Another week down lads and our weekend already started over here. Yours just about to commence back home. Have a good one.
MB
Cultural
Posted on May 2, 2013
Greetings lads
MB prepares to commence the weekly blog
Good reaction to last week’s blogs, mashallah. DMc was amused with the tales of the Polygamist Jewelry maker Mohammad from Yemen. And a number of (single) ladies, not surprisingly, reacted most favourably to the ‘Arranged Marriage’ blog.
MB will continue with the single topic blog lads, for as long as the Gods inspire him. But this week, in a first for the HX, MB hands over total control to guest blogger Miss L. If you did not read last week’s marriage blog, then please do so. Miss L’s personal story featured and she has now accepted invitation from MB to explain to HX Report followers her ‘mid twenties Muslim female thoughts’ on relationships & marriage in this region from her perspective. MB found the read extremely interesting. Big big thanks to Miss L for accepting the invitation and challenge. Would very much appreciate feedback from followers/readers, good, bad or indifferent. TVM. Her blog will go out tomorrow, Friday.
Received email of desperation (I think) following that same marriage blog from follower RB, who implored MB to send some Arab husband possibilities back to Ireland for her review and delectation. Please note RB – that Mohammad will not travel to meet the Irish Mountain (not to infer in any way that you are large in scale) so you must instead book your ticket, and get on over to these parts to meet the mythical Mohammad.
When MB receives confirmation of travel booking, MB will prepare chaporoned meetings with suitable boys. And also please note RB, there will be absolutely no ‘delectation’. Maybe some hand holding after supervised date Nr 5, followed immediately by engagement party, followed day later by wedding – then you are off my hands al hamdallah, and must fend for yourself. Inshallah the first born will be a boy named Mike. Best of luck with it all RB!
This weeks’s pics – Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, Abu Dhabi
Are just amazing and unreal lads. Even more amazing and unreal than the normal amazing & unreal weekly pics from MB that you now expect like spoon of sugar with your tea, or icing with your cake or other such like (that MB can not think of at the moment).
The Grand Mosque is open to visitors every day, except Fridays (the holy day) I think. 8th largest in the world, and just awesome in scale (equivalent to 5 football pitches in footprint). Here is the Wikipedia link lads if any of you would like to swot up on it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheikh_Zayed_Mosque
But MBs pics paint a million words, and please all feel free lads to blast the Nobel lads with some nominations for the Photography prize this year. Ta in advance lads. Am humbled by your support (not).
Flowers made from coloured marble pieces, cut into white marble cladding
Too sexy for his love!
You all remember the story of few weeks back lads where the 3 Emirati boys were deported from Saudi Arabia by the Religious Police, as they were considered far too good looking & big danger to womankind in the Kingdom, where 13M women allegedly broke out in non-menopausal hot flushes. Anyway, the blogosphere has been abuzz ever since to discover the identities of the 3 ‘sex on legs’ Emirati lads.
So big thanks to young Sudanese male follower MH who forwarded the below link to MB which ‘outs’ one of the alleged ‘Man Gods’. This link comes with severe warning to all females – the pic that you are about to view may cause you to rethink your whole existence. If you are presently happy with the man you have or your religion, MB suggests you do not look – as things may never be the same again. Be warned!
And just to give you idea of just how dashing the Emirati lad actually is lads, MH has confided to MB that he is now considering his sexual orientation, having risked all to take a peek. Powerful or what lads?!
Reluctant Emigrant
DH all excited this week to see Irish foodstuffs on the Abu Dhabi shop shelves, that can surely do nothing more that bring on nightmarish memories of misery & incessant rainfall:
http://thereluctantemigrant.wordpress.com/2013/04/26/ireland-over-here/
HIPA Photos
Some pics from the recent pic competition that failed to recognise the genius of the lens that is MB:
http://hipa.ae/en/media/gallery#imageGallery[9]/1/
Over & Out
Will leave it at that this week lads. Short but very very sweet! Enjoy the pics!
Take care all.
MB
HX Report 