Motherless


Morning lads
Major panic last night. Laptop conked out when battery died. MB tried to recharge, but over period of few hours battery just wouldn’t take charge, and normally obedient laptop downright refused to turn on. What to do at time like that?!

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Think about all the files & photos (screw the files, only the photos!) that were not backed up, have minor heart attack, and start blubbering like baby.

So round about midnight, MB & his tear streaked face decided best thing to do was for MB & laptop to have good night’s sleep! Unplugged charger in case it disturbed sleep patterns of Mrs Laptop – MB says ‘Mrs‘ as one MB friend describes MB laptop as ‘MB’s girlfriend’ because they are so rarely apart!.

And so to sleep. ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

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Woke bright-eyed & bushy-tailed praying that God of laptops (Steve Jobs) had come to assistance of MB in dark of night, beamed down from cyberspace heaven and kissed MB laptop better. MB cast cold eye on laptop once or twice as he brushed teeth, made early morning porridge with Yemeni honey mixed in, and selected some freshly ironed (that’s ‘pressed’ for any Yankee dogs reading this blog) underwear & socks – yes lads, we always get the underwear & socks ironed out here in ME (Middle East) on account of fact that it’s the way of things out these parts, and it only costs about 50 cents per set, to get them done – but MB digresses.

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Then came the moment of laptop truth. Would she or wouldn’t she? Had SJ intervened or had he not? MB connected charger cable and awaited orange light to appear. MB crossed fingers (& toes & legs & few pairs of freshly ironed underwear & socks) and prayed to SJ. Allah u Akbar, laptop God is indeed great, and orange glow radiated throughout MB’s room like some religious apparition was revealing itself. Well, not really, but that’s what it felt like to MB, as he knew photos were resurrected from the dead and all was well with the world again. And this week’s blog was once more assured. MB has new name for laptop – Lazarus!

MB walked floated down the stairs of his accommodation, jumped floated into the 4×4, and drove beamed himself to work. The freshly ironed shirt, underwear & socks never felt so good. Allah u Akbar.

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That Dimwit again!
Want to thank The Dimwit Diary & its legendary creator CH for giving MB/HX Report great plug last week. CH actually posted reply on MB’s blog, in which he used the word ‘incredible‘ 3 times about the MB words & pics. But also added that he had few glasses of wine too many on previous night, and his ramblings just might be on account of fact he was still inebriated. Just to keep MB feet on the ground I guess. Cruel to be kind, kind-of-a-Dimwit.

The Dimwit Diary post in which CH smooches up to MB:
http://thedimwitdiary.com/2013/07/26/city-slickers/

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MB got loads of new hits thanks to CH, especially from Yankee dogs, as CH is Yankee dog himself from Pittsburg and majority of his followers, naturally enough, hail from Yankee land. He also apparently has large following in Qatar, but that’s another story.

Anyway, MB wants to mention one blogger contact in particular from last week who found the HX Report through Dimwit’s PR efforts, and made some complimentary remarks. Called Gypsy. MB took time to read few of Gypsy’s efforts. Lucky MB. Great writer and think you will all like. Giving you one of the posts MB read few days back, which is about her divorce. And Rod Stewart!

http://gypsyintheme.com/blog/2013/7/27/believe-in-me-beliefs-in-the-me-rod-stewart-its-over

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John Murphy aged 219 years
Gypsy posted following comment after she read mention of the John Murphy gravestone back home in St John’s Church graveyard in MB’s blog last week:

“Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913
Made his great grandchildren believe
You could live to a hundred and three
A hundred and three is forever when you’re just a little kid
So Cyrus Jones lived forever” …

MB promised to locate some pics from his library of the JM gravestone, and he now does so (thanks to Steve Jobs!). Remember few years back when MB posted this JM grave story – in his old blog before he started his new fancy boutique blog, MB hypothesized a number of theories at that time that might provide logical explanation for John Murphy’s age of 219 years.

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MB must explain to new followers that the graveyard where JM is buried is a very old Protestant Church graveyard (circa 450 yrs) which is a little unique in that it has a section for Roman Catholics. JM is in that RC section. And the Protestant clergy of those distant days were hardly known for a sense of humour (or ‘humor’ for Yankee dogs). So MB is 100% sure that the theory ‘it’s a joke’ can be discounted.

Over to you guys to come up with some/any kind of logical explanation. So let’s have ’em!

The inscription on JM’s gravestone reads:

John Murphy died the
11th day of October 1784
aged 219 years

May the Lord have mercy on his soul

MB hereby gives you 2 pics of the grave:

Clearly readable (because Pat Moloney who owns pub across the road rubbed some grass on the inscription to give some contrast):

Grave copyMar

JM Grave inspection. From recent Graveyard Tour that MB attended (the kind of thing MB does for kicks!)

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Awaiting your ideas!

This week’s pics
MB went through many airports in recent times and took few shots to break the boredom and amaze you all at some stage with his mesmeric ‘airport’ pics. Well the time is now lads, and prepare yourself to be uber amazed, as MB combines the awesome pics with his latest iPad free photo software. Giving you before & after shots, just to show you the full crack. At Riyadh airport, KSA.

Awesome r what!!!

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My mother’s run off with a Dimwit
Well, sort of. Allow MB to explain further.

MB Skyped family during week and mother of MB (MOMB) mentioned that she clicked on The Dimwit Diary link that MB posted up last week. MB was bit taken aback lads as he wasn’t heretofore aware that MOMB knew what a ‘link’ actually was. But as MB’s head reeled a little at Revelation Nr 1, MOMB hit MB (son of MOMB) with a punch straight to the guts with devastating Revelation Nr 2.

“Was the funniest thing I ever read, and his photos are excellent” MOMB said in nonchalant manner to MB. Was like punch in the nose from heavyweight boxer can assure you lads, as MB was floored with this knock-out double whammy. MB wanted to blurt out – But what about all of MBs hilarious posts over the years? What about all those side-splitting awesome Oscar Wilde like compositions? And what, oh what, about all MB’s mega pics that have delighted all in the past and which you referred to regularly as ‘very good’ – but never ‘excellent’?

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All now forgotten it seems lads, as MOMB’s head is turned by Yankee dog CH & The Dimwit Diary. MB tried to maintain modicum of dignity, pretended he had some wireless internet problem for few minutes, and cried his eyes out.

To CH – Hey CH, come on man. Give MB his mother back! Can you at least post up 3 or 4 really boring posts, instead of all that quick wit and easy Yankee dog charm that is your norm. And maybe mention, despite your recent plea for suitable female partner to take for breeding purposes, that ladies over 80 years old will not be considered. Those two suggestions, if implemented CH, I feel might just about be enough to break the spell MOMB has fallen under. Inshallah (God willing).

Please CH. Do you really want some humanoids reading your gravestone some thousand years hence trying to decipher the following, which will be far more attention grabbing than the JM one above:

Here lies the decomposed rotten remains
Of CH
Captain of the Dimwits

Mother stealer

Died young, too young
Bludgeoned by son of MOMB (who lost it completely)
August 2013

No CH, I think not. You are bigger man than that. Leave it with you. Still friends, just. MB.

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Eid Holiday
It’s the end of Ramadan Eid holiday next week lads so MB is high-tailing it out of the Saudi Arabian desert back to UAE/Dubai, and hopefully to some other spot for few days photo break. MB needs to stop looking at sand. Is there such a thing as sand blindness MB is wondering? MB thinks he is suffering such an ailment. Need to see rain. Let’s see where MBs pin falls on the map. Report to you all next week.

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Urgent: A+ Blood type required
HX follower and friend of MB based in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, (often referred to in this blog as “young Sudani lad’) is looking for blood donors with A+ blood type. A family member’s life depends on it. MB said he would mention in this week’s blog. So if you are living in KSA, please spread the word. Thanks from MB.

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Take Care
Adios for this week lads. Have a nice weekend. And if you are at the horse racing festival in Galway, may you win an extremely large bundle!

MB

No edit required here. MB had camera discreetly hidden to capture this man/woman moment!
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4 Comments on “Motherless

  1. MOMB is da BOMB!

    I think Dimwit is a great read also; solid entertainment.

    BUT, she must not negate MB and his efforts. Your photos and content tell a really amazing story.

    Thanks for the pic of the tombstone. I’ve actually been googling John Murphy’s grave info for hypotheses on the error and/or miracle of his 219 years.

    And thanks for the shout out. Wow! Just thanks.

    P.S. That last picture is truly priceless.

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    • Thanks v much Gypsy. Will refer MOMB to your comments, insha’allah she comes to her senses!
      Doubt that you found much on the net on John Murphy grave. The local Limerick Leader newspaper back home only did feature on it this year. I saw it few years back (on another graveyard tour!) and was fascinated by it.
      And yes, the last pic is a cracker. Was just praying that the guy only half meter from my face in the red shirt didn’t hear the camera shutter go ‘click’!
      Slan (‘goodbye’ in Gaelic)
      MB

      Like

  2. MB,
    I find it hard to believe that a compliment from a Dimwit brings so much joy to an Eyerishman – he is a Dimwit – calls himself a Dimwit and you are elated – ?? Am I missing something or am I simply not a member of the DW club?
    You have every right to be concerned re MOMB and her ‘liking’ of DWs writing and pics – I would seriously consider the value of my blog (and probably my life) if my own mother made the same comparison. Being compared to a DW in a dim light is awfully dim – good luck with your future and I trust your ego will survive the unwarranted (???? – me being nice to you so as not to upset a broken artiste) attack.
    Steve and the Mac Gods smiled on you – be grateful for their favour – but one must consider that the real God may have been slowing you down – giving you time to think about where your blog is ranked in the blog world, especially when ones own mother bats for the other side – just a thought to ponder.
    There are a few logical conclusions re MOMB and her comments re DW –
    1 – MOMB has lost her mind and thinks that DW is in actual fact MB as MB is a DW – simple but logical confusion
    2 – MOMB is letting MB know he should find 2 other hobbies – excluding the camera and writing of course
    3 – MOMB feels sorry for DW and is simply being neighbourly in the old-fashoined sense of the word
    4 – MOMB wants to go to Pitts. and marry DW
    Whatever the reason for MOMBs comments – MB should sit MOMB down and explain that she is the mother of MB and she is doing serious cred damage to MD and The HX report
    TH

    Like

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