Never Trust A Kenyan

Were you, like MB, a little bemused by all those Kenyans a few weeks back, claiming Barack as one of their own? Claiming him as a Kenyan an’ all.

The entire country of Kenya came out to greet their ‘son’ Barack on the occasion of his visit to a meeting of the African Union. Well let MB tell you something Mr & Mrs Kenyan. Barack is no son of Kenya. In Ireland, there is a well know song which includes the following (true) lines:

From the old Blarney stone to the green hills of Tara
There’s no-one as Irish as Barack O’Bama.

And please note, in case you missed it – it’s not ‘Obama’ – it’s ‘O’Bama‘

And if you need further proof Mr & Mrs lying Kenyans, read on…………………….

President O’Bama was facing a decidedly dodgy reelection in 2012. Polling in early 2011 indicated the outcome was uncertain. Too close to call. So in the Spring of 2011, a fool-proof plan was hatched to wrap up the result good an’ early. Barack did not waste his breath speaking to Americans, knowing that many of the larger words he uses fly miles over their heads. After a brief chat with his reelection team, Barack raced home, told Michelle to throw on something decent, and grab a raincoat. For the O’Bamas were heading home – back to the old country. To Ireland.

Air Force One landed and the usual gang of lachicos were on the tarmac (or in the bar in the arrivals lounge) for the greeting. A few beers later the party drove the few miles to the home of the Irish President and Taoiseach (the Gaelic term for PM). Handshakes and hugs were exchanged as Barack informed the Irish politicos that he was basically on a begging mission. The reelection campaign was floundering and could they please lend a Celtic brother a hand.

Over a few strong Irish coffees and some thick wedges of Irish soda bread smeared in heavy dollops of Kerrygold butter, Barack was informed that, basically, he could chillax. All 50M cousins from the homeland, now doing good in the old US of A (mostly bartenders, firefighters & policemen), would be asked politely to vote for one of their own in the upcoming. The result was assured, Barack could put the electoral anxiety attack behind him, count to 10, and get on with enjoying the scenery & the greenery. The following election of 2012 is a matter of historical record. Celtic Barack whipped the Yankee dog Mitt Romney in one of the greatest trouncings in US election history.

So safe in the knowledge that the election was a done deal, and that he didn’t need to waste any more time talking to Dublin Jackeens, Barack & the Missus jumped on a helicopter and headed straight to Barack’s home village to meet the family and imbibe some additional quantities of the black Irish beer. Population 300, or thereabouts. Moneygall, County Offaly. The ancestral village of BO’B.

Falmouth Kearney, a 19-year-old shoemaker, left the village of Moneygall during the Irish famine for a journey in one of the infamous coffin ships of those days and arrived safely in New York on 20 March 1850. A few marriages and a few years later, one Barack Hussein O’Bama was born, in August 1961; the same year and month incidentally that MB arrived. Both would go on to become household names.

Barack met all the locals, pressed the flesh, and consumed some more of the black stuff in Ollie Hayes’s pub in the village. He was introduced to long lost cousin Henry Healy. Barack, like all good Irishmen, didn’t forget Henry on his departure to the new world, inviting Henry to subsequent St Patrick’s Day parties at the White House. The Irish ties that bind, an’ all that.

Just before his departure from the village, and under the influence of the earlier consumptions, Barack honoured his Celtic forefathers as follows:

My name is Barack Obama, of the Moneygall O’Bamas,” the president said. “I’ve come home to find the apostrophe that we lost somewhere along the way.

Argument over. Done and dusted. From the Blarney Stone to the green hills of Tara, there’s no-one as Irish as Barack O’Bama.

So Mr & Mrs Keynan. There you have it. The truth is laid bare. So you can stop with your auld guff. MB will grant you that you have many things of fame and renown. The wildlife. Marathon runners to whom the ‘wall’ is unknown. Millions of great smiling faces. But O’Bama? Forget it. Hands off. He’s one of ours!

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For more on that famous visit to the O’Bama ancestral homeland – http://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/may/23/obama-visit-jubilation-moneygall

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Henry Healy (left) greets his eighth cousin, U.S. President Barack Obama, and First Lady Michelle Obama, after their arrival in Moneygall, Ireland, May 23, 2011.

Barack & Michelle enjoy the hospitality & Guinness at Hayse’s Pub.

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MB was back home in June and stopped for some refuelling & refreshments at the Barack O’Bama Shopping Plaza (petrol, toilets & food), Moneygall, which is on the Limerick-Dublin M7 motorway. The last 2 photos in the series are of pictures that are hanging on one of the internal walls of the plaza. Far as MB knows, Kenya does not have a Presidential filling station, toilet & take away.