Enter The Dragon (Part 1 of 2)


In a past life, MB was a proponent of Wing Chun Kung Fu.

Really MB? Awesome!

Really guys. The truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. It was back in MB’s UK working days, ever before MB bought his first camera and became a famous blogger, like Peter McKinnon and other deadly photobloggers.

More’s the pity MB.

Too true guys.

Anyway…..

For martial arts fans amongst MB’s many millions of followers (joke!), Wing Chun was the foremost influence on Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do fighting style. Bruce, as everybody knows, went to Hollywood and became a millionaire martial arts movie star, while MB remained a martial arts purist and lived in relative obscurity thereafter. Rumours of mega-buck offers for an MB v Bruce Lee match back in the day must remain just that. Rumours. MB will not be drawn further.

Anyway…..

Through his engagement with martial arts, MB was not without some Chinese influence in his past life. And on one or two occasions in the distant past, he had also taken some acupuncture treatments for a minor spinal injury. The injury cleared up in time but MB could never be sure that the Chinese needle treatment was responsible in any way for his recovery. It would, in all probability, have cleared up anyway, with or without the treatment.

So it was not with any great amount of confidence that MB returned to the acupuncture table in Doha, Qatar, in recent days. Six months of finger-joint pain in both hands finally brought MB to his doctor’s door in Doha, and to his HX practitioner’s door during his trip back home last week. The medical consensus was that father time was catching up with MB and the finger-joint pain was actually osteoarthritis. Not a lot to be done. Grin and bear it. Lie back and think of Ireland!

Anyway, MB got to thinking about Chinese medicine, and what, if any, help it might provide. MB discovered the International Chinese Body Care House in central Doha and made an appointment for Thursday afternoon just past. A Chinese lady doctor listened to MB describe two particular ailments, the most pressing being the finger pain, which was making daily work (and evening blog) typing on his keyboard a painful experience. MB will return to the second ailment in a subsequent post.

MB was laid out on the acupuncture table, face up, like a corpse at an Irish wake. The lady doctor spoke some instructions to a beefy Chinese male colleague, in Mandarin or Cantonese. MB knows neither so he can not be sure which one was used. Male colleague then inserted multiple needles into the muscular torso of MB. The soft flesh at the base of both thumbs, the elbows, stomach, knees, calves and heels all were penetrated, giving MB the tiniest of pin-prick sensations, as the needles hardly penetrate the full thickness of the skin. No needle marks are visible after the treatment, which gives followers a feeling for how little the sensation actually is when the needles are inserted.

Step 2 involves hooking up multiple electrodes to the needles which are connected at the other end to a DC battery pack. A circular dial that regulates the amount of current to be administered was then turned by male assistant as MB’s skin and nearby muscles jumped or throbbed in time with the electrical pulses.

A red heat lamp was then placed next to the stomach of MB. The lights were turned out and calming Chinese music was played as MB went into a relaxed one-hour semi-slumber. At various stages, MB dreamt that he had the lead part in Enter the Dragon (which he should have had!) and that he had taken Matt Damon’s part in The Great Wall. And then, 60 minutes later, he woke up.

Male colleague removed the spider’s web of cables that dangled about MB’s lower body before removing the 20 or so needles from the skin of MB. MB drank a bottle of room-temperature water and walked to his car parked outside. MB formed a fist with his right hand. And then with his left. And then repeated the fist-forming exercise 4 or 5 times.

A miracle. The finger joint pain in the right had had completely disappeared. The pain in the fingers of the left hand had disappeared by some 80% in MB’s estimation. Tonight, Saturday, MB has attended the clinic for his second of five sessions. He can truthfully report that all pain has completely vanished from both hands.

MB has read mixed reviews of Chinese medicine, and acupuncture in particular, in the past. Western medicine hardly sings its praises. But the proof of the pudding is in the eating. And in the last two days, it was proven to MB, beyond any reasonable doubt, that acupuncture works. It has worked for MB at least. Maybe it might not be so successful with other ailments. But MB’s finger joint pain is now consigned to medical history.  Enough said.

Long live Bruce Lee. Long live Wing Chun. Long live Male Assistant.

Long live MB – pain free!

 

2 Comments on “Enter The Dragon (Part 1 of 2)

  1. Long live MB, pain free, indeed! You’d better stay on that male assistant’s good side, though. (It’s always wise to ingratiate yourself to the man who is controlling the electrical current.)

    Like

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