Happy St Patrick’s Day!


MB was too busy this week to post anything on the occasion of St Patrick’s Day – 17th March. So here follows a brief history of Patrick’s life and the connection of Patrick to MB’s HX locality.

History and the law of the jungle tell us that Patrick may have been a little on the slow side. The strongest, fittest and most intelligent survive. They run like rockets if the threat is great and generally outfox the hungry predators. Not so Patrick.

A raiding party of Irish pirates landed in Patrick’s home patch, armed in all probability with little more than a net and a few blackthorn sticks. With far greater geographical knowledge of the locality Patrick managed to get captured by the Celtic Somalis, get tied up and chucked onto the pirate boat, sometime in or around 430 AD.

Nobody is quite sure when he was born or when he died. 415 to 490 AD give or take. He was aged 16 when he arrived in the Emerald Isle. Nobody is also sure  where he came from – other than Roman controlled Britain. He may have been Welsh or Scottish. Or he may have been a Brit from Cumbria – insha’allah not!

Within a few days Patrick was sold at the slave market back in Ireland. To a farmer from County Antrim in Ireland’s northern province, who was in need of a runt to look after some sheep and goats. Patrick worked as a shepherd and ate the same food as the animals for the next six years. He prayed a lot, as there was no social media or smart phones at the time, and became a Christian. Masha’allah.

After this period Patrick heard some voices in his head which instructed him to escape and that a boat was waiting to sail. He duly absconded and caught the boat to his homeland. The journey allegedly took three days and was followed by a twenty eight day period of wandering through wilderness. Finally Patrick arrived home to kith & kin.

The voices in his head were not done. Within a few years Patrick received further telepathic instruction to return to Ireland and spread the word of the one true religion to the chosen people. Patrick duly returned to Ireland, worked his butt off for many years and spread the Christian message throughout the land. Today some 90% of Irish residents are nominally Christian. And the happiest & friendliest Whities on the planet.

In MB’s home locality of HX, Patrick is said to have slept on a local hill. The fresh-water well nearby is called St Patrick’s Well to this day. The water is said by locals to have healing properties for all manner to ailments and in olden days was referred to by an old Gaelic word meaning ‘protection’. If ever you visit HX you are welcome to taste. A mug lies on a stone shelf within the well for those of faith. Do not worry about saliva borne diseases. The magic and holy power of the water zaps all known germs. And also those unknown. The church, which lies a few hundred meters from the well, is also named in Patrick’s honour.

On St Patrick’s day every year the locals march from the church to the holy well to drink the water and hear the story of Patrick.

A few pics follow from the HX locality.

And better late than never – Happy St Patrick’s Day!

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