Yes indeedee. MB is a believer.
The Monkeys (& Shrek) were also believers. You better believe it lads:
Whilst some with knowledge of MB’s online activities might consider MB a bit of a guru, or a mystic, or a downright bullshitter, one desperately-in-need Muslim lady considers MB a true believer. And a possible solution to her troubles. Her time remaining on this earth is short. And MB is considering how to respond. Kindness, charity, and other noble behaviour will of course be the order of the day.
Now MB has received his fair share of scam emails in the past. African scammers mainly, trying to get MB to splash the cash to grease the wheels down in Lagos or Harare or Dakar. MB has never fallen for any of their old guff of course. And avoided them like a bad dose of the plague.
But this one is different. This one is the real McCoy. This one comes to MB via a contact request on LinkedIn only yesterday. And we all know that LinkedIn is serious website for those in the way of business and commerce and employment and moving up in life and endorsing qualifications an’ skills an’ all. So MB is certain, beyond the faintest shadow of a shadow of doubt that this is the genuine article. Gan dabht ar bith – as we say back yonder in the old country in the Gaelic Christian language.
And like a bolt of lightening from the heavens (Jenna – in the Muslim Arabic) the message of Mrs Mirable comes at a time when inter-religious ecumenical gestures were never more required. All sort of inter-faith hate mongers spreading their verbal garbage all over certain parts of the Middle East at present. But like a brightly glowing angle, out of the mist and darkness, arrives Mrs Mirabel Abdulhag Ali from London (of all places) – email@example.com. God bless her Muslim soul. Assalamu Alaikum.
MB responded to Mrs Mirable’s slightly odd contact request on LinkedIn and received follow-up request for his email address which he duly supplied only last night. And today, MB received the following blessed plea from the soon-to-be-deceased heart of Mrs Mirable, in which she recognises (correctly) that MB is a true believer.
MB is just now reminded of great compliment he received last year in Saudi Arabia when good Muslim friend said (genuinely) to MB – ‘MB, you are the best Muslim I know‘. MB was bit gobsmacked at the time and from memory uttered something like ‘May God & St Patrick & St Anthony bless your kindred Islamic/Muslim soul. Habbibi‘. But MB digresses. Back to Mrs Mirable and her kindness/upcoming generosity to MB.
Some readers will no doubt be a little jealous of MB’s good fortune. Others will wish MB well for the alms that are about to become his windfall. MB can assure all followers, in case of doubt, that he will not forget the wretches he met as he scaled life’s ladder. No Siree. He will throw each and every one of those miseries a fat Mr Kipling. Or a little slice of cake. Or some crumbs from the table of MB, which will very soon overfloweth.
Allah u akbar. And a big thanks/shukran to Mrs Mirable:
Dear Thank you for your mail and i will appreciate your fast respond to my email I am Mrs Mirabel Abdulhq Ali from London United Kingdom I am married to Late Mr Abdulhaq Ali of blessed memory who was a well known Gold dealer from Kuwait to London for through out his life before he died in the year 2010. We where married for 11 years without a child.
Before his sudden death we where devoted Muslims When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of One Million British Pound Sterling (£ 1.000.000.00 GBP) in a fix deposit account with one of the banks there in London using my name as the beneficiary since we could not bear a child.
Presently this money is still with the bank in United Kingdom and i am very sick from cancer of the lug despite the fibroid and tumor which denied me a child when my husband was alive as a result i may not last till the next two months according to my doctor report so i want to donate to a Muslims organization or individual who will use it to work for Allah and i have chose you after making several praying consultations.
I want this money to be sheared among the next privileged since i do not have a child to inherit it and my late husband relatives are all Non-believers and i don’t want my husbands heard earn money to be used by unbelievers since I am sure that they will not utilize the money in the way I have directed to.Hence the reason for taking this bold decision.
I know that after death I will be with Allah the most holy and the most merciful. It is a very important confidential massage that i will like to tell you more about it so get in touch with me so that i can fully detail you what i choose you for and as well give you a little knowledge on how to achieve it.
Any delay in your respond will give me room to seek for another Moslems organization or individual for this same purpose.Until i hear from you my dreams lay hugely on your shoulders I am waiting to read from you soon.
MB most assuredly has big and generous shoulders. Mrs Mirable’s dreams have landed at the right door for sure. MB will now consider very carefully and spiritually his next move.
For the moment – Salam my brother & sister followers. Hallelujah to all:
Category: Irish man in the Middle East Tagged: Belief, Hellelujah, Leonard Cohen, LinkedIn, religion, Scam, Scammer, Shrek, Social Media, The Monkeys
Holycross/Limerick/Ireland/Dubai/Abu Dhabi/Saudi Arabia/Qatar/able to milk a cow by hand
I am Sudani gold digger and I am also very sick (of life) pls deposit one million British pounds in my account immediately smh it’s for charity dawg
Please contact Mrs Mirable direct as I am v busy at the mo. You will have big street cred with her I am sure on account of your great Islamic name. She will be most pleased I am sure. Good luck with the adventure.
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Hello PSB! Thank you very much. MB is always trying to put smiles on faces 🙂
MB, she’s offering you a ‘massage’! There’s no way you can in all good consciousness turn this offer down. You are one lucky expat!
Now look deep, deep, deep into the depths of your pockets as you ponder your choices … that’s where you’ll find Mirabel’s arthritic and cancer-ridden hand 🙂
May God/Allah forgive your doubting kaffir soul. Blessings are falling from the sky. It’s as plain as the nose on Mrs Mirable’s face. The Irish God looks after his own!
Yeah, I’ve become sadly jaded over the years 😦 Maybe I should give that kid who wrote me from Nigeria a chance. When did I become so bitter and twisted? 😉