HX Report
Irishman in the Middle East
Catnapper
The ‘Cat’ business has taken a new and sinister twist.
MB was merrily munching his honey covered porridge few mornings back, engrossed on his laptop at same time. This is the only way to eat breakfast. For MB at least. Anyway, MB continued to munch without a care in the world when a freshly arrived email from MB’s blog site set MB’s heart racing.
MB could not believe his eyes as it was revealed to him, as if by the Gods, that the piece from the blog site was given over to recently published bloggers – those (like MB) who reside at the higher end of the blogging food chain and who have the wit & wherewithal to rise above the blogging chaff, the ‘Proles’ as George Orwell referred to them.
A smile as wide as the lakes of Killarney back home appeared across MB’s stupidly smiling face. Finally some deserved recognition. Finally some kudos from the blog site that has 64M active users and if even 5% of them then rush off to buy MB’s ‘Cat’ book – MB would soon be smiling even wider. So wide in fact, that MB’s face would probably not be wide enough to accommodate!
But MB digresses. Let us return to the matter at hand and the headline on opening the email link:
Yes Crossers. You will all agree that MB was most justifiably excited as he rushed down the last few morsels of the gooey delicious oatmeal, and prepared a very large mug of coffee in readiness for the read of a lifetime.
Amazon.com may have screwed MB over big time with their raping and pillaging of MB’s awesome Cat book, but soon all would be well with the world again. MB was getting his due deserts from the WordPress blog site, and armed with such ammunition, MB’s lawyers would now receive the green light to proceed with playing merry hell against those amazon.com Ali Babas. Yes indeed, vengeance is mine sayeth MB. Prepare for oceans of suffering you amazon.com dogs.
MB took first sip of the coffee and noticed the nice intro words to the piece: Both aspiring and established authors have been using their blogs to test new material, interact with their readers, and promote their latest work. Today, let’s celebrate the release of three new books by WordPress.com writers.
Let’s celebrate indeed though MB. Mana from blog heaven. The world was now about to receive the gift of ‘Cat’ (the adventures of a psychic cat) and a grievous wrong would be put right. Praise the lord & Allah u Akbar.
But on scanning the article further MB noticed that something was amiss. As in – there did not appear to be any mention of MB’s awesome Cat book. None. MB shook his head, took a very large mouthful of his coffee, blinked his eyes a few times in case the whole occasion had got the better of MB and MB has missed the obvious right before his eyes. But no. Crash. Bang. Wallop. No mention of one of the best books published this Spring season. Devastation. Desolation. Distraughtness. Downright peed off. And all the other bad D words you can think of.
And just when MB thought he was on the floor, MB received an even deadlier blow. One that will take much time and therapy to resolve. If such mental trauma is even solvable. One of the three so-called ‘great’ books recently published was about – you guessed it – a fuc*ing cat. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…………….!
WTF. OMG. JC. You can not be serious!!! Bailey Boat Cat – Adventures of a feline afloat. A fuc*ing floating cat!!! MB fell on the floor, rolled around a few times and bawled his eyes out. Ten minutes later MB was still blubbering. Twenty minutes later MB finally shed his last tear, recomposed himself as much as he could under the circumstances, and sat once more on his breakfast stool looking into his partially finished mug of cold coffee.
It was obvious to MB. Some scheming blogger had kidnapped MB’s Cat idea, changed the ‘psychic’ to ‘floating’, got into the marketplace a few weeks ahead of MB, and milked MB (and the paying public) dry. Maybe also explaining MB’s (apparent) zero sales at present. Once again MB looses out. Left to eat the beans and toast whilst the Ali Babas and the Kidnappers lived their lavish lifestyles at the 5 Stars. Yes indeed. Life sucks sometimes. Or in the case of the Cat business – all the time.
And so, another lesson in the school of life for MB. One that has cut deep and will leave lasting scars. MB will do his best to lift himself up, dust himself down and start all over again. Onwards. Maybe!
MB
PS
On a more serious note – best wishes to Louise Kennedy and her Bailey Boat Cat book & blog. Have read bits of her blog from time to time & enjoyed. Again – best of luck Louise – MB really means it. Truly. MB is not at all jealous – MB swears!!!
HX Report 
Don’t worry MB all great writers suffered initial set-backs! Judging from last post it has given you a sharper, edegier boost. Don’t let em get to you RB
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Cheers RB. I get knocked down, but I get up again – as the song says! Take care. MB
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MB’s cat RULES. I want to know what that scheming, thieving, traveling Tom is up to these days …
Just thinking out loud here, but …. Ever thought that Middle Eastern cats must do well during Ramadan, sleeping through the day and feasting all night?
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I may have to leave Cat behind Gypsy. Its been a sad sorry lesson for me. I am battered and emotionally bruised. I have been the ‘Ramadan Goat’ of the publishing world. An innocent Irish lamb to the ritual slaughter. Je suis tres fatigue!!! (or ‘ana taban’ as they might say out here).
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