Book Worm

Greetings one & all
It’s upcoming holiday weekend throughout much of the world and thoughts of many will be turning to having a break & some relaxation from the normal daily grind. Good luck to all from MB with the Easter festivities, the egg hunts, the Easter dinner & devouring the chocolate eggs.

Maybe many will relax this weekend with a good book. And it is to that particular hobby that MB wishes to focus his sights on this week and guide you all in a certain direction. For MB has recently published a book. ‘WTF MB, you actually had a book published?!!! Yes lads, MB is proud to announce that his book ‘Cat (the adventures of a psychic cat)’ is available on for all to download. ‘You gotta be kiddin MB’, MB can hear you all shouting from the rooftops. But MB kids you not lads. Cross MB’s oh-so-generous heart & hope to die, stick a needle in MB’s eye! It’s totally & utterly true!!!

‘Yes MB, we remember the pulsating blog post trilogy some time back about the psychic Cat, and how you had us all on the edge of our seats for three weeks with MB’s Cat brilliance. So is the book a sequel MB?’ ‘No lads, not a sequel, MB just decided to copy the three posts into a single story, log onto the Amazon self-publishing section, and publish the awesome book called (you guessed it) ‘Cat’. ‘So you just copied & pasted the three blogs MB, and called it a book. You are either a genius or the biggest bullshitter we ever happened across in our sad sorry lives MB’. The former surely lads, for MB’s book is amongst the higher priced books on the website and should earn MB some serious dollars in the near future as royalties roll in and movie & comic book rights get negotiated. Woopy doo lads’.

‘So the Amazon experts read the Cat book and set the high price MB. Ya? On account of fact they were mightily impressed with MB’s awesome writing skills. Ya?’. Hey that’s two questions lads – but no & no. MB took a look at the Amazon site and noticed that most books by new authors were priced at 99 cents US. MB obviously deduced that if someone wrote a book and only considered it was worth 99 cents then the book must be total garbage. And who the hell wants to read a garbage book at any price?! No way Jose! So MB decided that even though his book is quite short (19 pages including photos) it is very high quality and MB will not insult his intellect or that of his many fans by charging a miserly 99 cents. So the Cat book costs Dollars 4.09. A complete and total steal at that price you will all agree lads.

‘So after one month or more since you published MB, how much hard cash has Cat generated, if you don’t mind us asking MB?’. No, not at all lads, ask MB anything you like. But there seems to be some problem at the moment, as MB logged on to the Amazon site yesterday for first time since the launch (MB loves to be able to use the ‘launch’ word in a non-boat context) and discovered, surprisingly, that sales were displayed as zero, and book loans & shares were also registering zero. And nett income to date = zero.

MB can only make two assumptions, both very logical, from the ‘zero’ report of yesterday:

1 – There is currently some glitch with the Amazon software. Some NSA interference, or some other IT related problem that is preventing the upload of the true figures. If this is so then for sure by next blog post MB will be able to sort it all out and share his joyous financial news from the East with you all.

2 – Some sneaky Ali Baba devil worm within Amazon has somehow managed to syphon off all the large proceeds from the sales of Cat and diverted all into some offshore account, leaving MB high & dry, and holding the baby (but no cash), so to speak.

So MB, being a cool relaxed sort-of-a-customer, has decided to give it all some more time, hoping that the problem relates to Nr 1 above and not to Nr 2. God is good. Or ‘Allah U Akbar’ as all the Muslim lads out these parts love to shout.

And that’s the latest story of new book publisher MB. Upon receipt of the income for Book Nr 1, MB will in all probability chuck in the day job and blast out a series of further awesome reads to keep the fans happy.

Until then lads!

M ‘J K Rowling’ B

PS – Seeing is believing –





5 Comments on “Book Worm

    • Got to sort this royalties issue out first. Feel my kind Christian nature is being taken advantage by these Yankee worms! The sequel very soon inshallah!


    • At various social occasions in the future I can now drop such lines as – ‘Yes, I’ve published’ or ‘The publishing houses are such a drag’ or ‘Yes, I’m considering a sequel’ or ‘My published book is of the psychic genre’ or ‘Yes, many are comparing it to a Stephen King’. And such like. A whole new world opens up!


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