Daughter of Dad Nr 2

Greetings to all 

Something different this week lads. Guest blogger Miss L is having her say, at the invitation of MB. If you read last week’s ‘Marriage’ blog you will remember the story of Dad Nr 1 & 2. If you did not read it please take a moment to read in particular the story of Dad Nr 2.  

Muchos gracias to Miss L for accepting the invitation and hope we can get some more from her in the future.

Enough from MB!

MB

Assalm Alykom, Marhaba, Ahleen  (different Hellos  in Arabic)  MB lads.

I am pleasured to be the blog guest of the blog for this week. Many thanks to MB for giving me this opportunity! I appreciate it.

Just an overview about myself.. I am a Muslim young lady in my mid-twenties originally from Palestine, born & raised in Saudi Arabia.

I am Business Administration graduate & luckily working in a successful firm doing  brand development & research for large entities. I am fluent in both native Arabic & English & for the matter of fact… i am the DAUGHTER of DAD no 2… & that was indeed my story told by MB, a good friend of the family.

Luckily, I am a lady who visited lots of countries abroad such as USA, UK, Greece, etc… & got  exposed to many different people with different cultures & beliefs.

One common thing I have noticed is a misperception  westerners  had about marriage in the Arab Muslim.

What resulted in this misperception I was wondering?! Is it the fact that we are totally at odds with the west when coming to this subject! Or is it because westerns sometimes neglect the fact that Arabs & Muslims are very diverse belonging to different social status & education level & thus they should not at  all be perceived the same?

Anyhow, Lads  the difference in values, opinions, marriage style, religion, & all of that helps enrich us as humans by  getting exposed & mingling with each other.

That is why, I am honored today to hold the microphone MB granted me & candidly dig deeper  to give you  a closer look of marriage in our culture!

In our religion ”Islam”, it is forbidden for  a male & female to indulge in  affairs unless they are tied with marriage. The rational justification of this  the many problems that may  occur from illegitimate relationships that occur such as illegitimate children. In addition to  the countless psychological problems that may negatively affect  both the society +  both the  male & female  who get really affected when getting  involved in affairs  that are sometimes temporary, doubtful in continuity, & doesn’t protect both parties.

Marriage in Islam Ladies & Gentlemen is  a sacred  binding contract that bonds a male & a female  and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. Marriage must be declared publicly & divorce is permitted and can be initiated by either party.

What you probably don’t know ladies & gentlemen is that  Islam  indicates that ladies should never be FORCED into  marriage & should always have a say about the man of which they will get married to!

However, sorrowfully some uneducated Arab families have forced their girls into marriage & thus implied to Westerners that this the case in our culture !

I assure you audience that this  injustice  act  made by some uneducated, illiterate families is not in any way related to our religion  which   touches upon the lives of humans with mercy!

For example, humbly,  I  am a daughter to parents  who strongly believes a girl should receive an equal high standard education just as a boy! I am educated, I have freedom of speech, & I am totally empowered by my family to make my decisions lead by their mentor-ship & advice when needed.

Hmm….you must be wondering??! How does marriage happen then?!!

OK! In conservative societies such as ours, how do we get married??

This is how it goes!

As our religion states, If a lady  gets to meet a prospect  guy at work, in a family gathering , or elsewhere & he is interested in her, He must first approach her  family & come to her house  (& not the way around as the west..)

If a guy  is interested to know a lady  better, he should get permission from her  father & then  they  starts  to see whether things goes fine or not…

Yet, what is the other  case scenario in which you have not met anyone on the way?!

Just as what happens in the west where a friend, sister, or acquaintance sets you up for a date with some guy they feel might be interesting to you, in our culture the family does that! Families help set up the date!  Just as simple as that…:)

In a wedding, a party, or a gathering…Arab ladies mostly  tend to be  (like all ladies all over the world 😉 interested in being well-dressed, beautiful, & attractive J (must note Arab Ladies love shopping J )

In these social gatherings, parents get exposed to a number of ladies…. & keep hidden intentions  looking for a BRIDE for their sons! (just as the ball Cinderella went to when the prince was looking for a BRIDE J ) However, in our case the ball is running all year long J

If a mother happens to like  one of the ladies….she gets to approach her family & ask them for  that her son meets the daughter!!

Based on so many criteria which families set such as age, education, social status, nationalities, etc.. families either refuse or agree to meet the son!

Then, the Guy meets the Girl!! They get to sit together (OFFICIAL FIRST DATE THING)… to check whether there is a mutual  chemistry between them & whether  they clicked with one another!

They tend to sit a couple more times together (yet always in the lady’s home ) & if things worked out & they CLICKED! They apparently get engaged!!

If not… then they Both are History to each other!

In our culture lads… ladies are not suppressed nor forced….ladies are just treated with extra super care just as a diamond in a  box who should not  be touched  but by who is indeed serious about wearing this precious diamond..

By this, an Arab lady is somehow less vulnerable to the exploitation & the heart-break which ladies in other societies suffer from!

This is exactly what our religion indicated & how things should go…

However, it is always  important to note that some members of our societies started to oppose…

By this, I hope I gave a glance about a culture that may be hidden to many of you!

Hmm..… coming back to my story! Well, like any other lady any else in the world… I have not yet met  Mr. RIGHT…& met lotssssssssss of Mr. WRONGS  just as the drug dealer with the picture MB saw 😉

At the end, allow me to present to you this little gift that tells more about my culture.  I hope you enjoy it:

http://www.inspiredbymuhammad.com/

Remember, NEVER judge the majority by the minority, the minority who serve as bad image models of one’s society….

& forget not to always dig deeper for the  truth to prevail…

Miss L