Greetings to all
Something different this week lads. Guest blogger Miss L is having her say, at the invitation of MB. If you read last week’s ‘Marriage’ blog you will remember the story of Dad Nr 1 & 2. If you did not read it please take a moment to read in particular the story of Dad Nr 2.
Muchos gracias to Miss L for accepting the invitation and hope we can get some more from her in the future.
Enough from MB!
Assalm Alykom, Marhaba, Ahleen (different Hellos in Arabic) MB lads.
I am pleasured to be the blog guest of the blog for this week. Many thanks to MB for giving me this opportunity! I appreciate it.
Just an overview about myself.. I am a Muslim young lady in my mid-twenties originally from Palestine, born & raised in Saudi Arabia.
I am Business Administration graduate & luckily working in a successful firm doing brand development & research for large entities. I am fluent in both native Arabic & English & for the matter of fact… i am the DAUGHTER of DAD no 2… & that was indeed my story told by MB, a good friend of the family.
Luckily, I am a lady who visited lots of countries abroad such as USA, UK, Greece, etc… & got exposed to many different people with different cultures & beliefs.
One common thing I have noticed is a misperception westerners had about marriage in the Arab Muslim.
What resulted in this misperception I was wondering?! Is it the fact that we are totally at odds with the west when coming to this subject! Or is it because westerns sometimes neglect the fact that Arabs & Muslims are very diverse belonging to different social status & education level & thus they should not at all be perceived the same?
Anyhow, Lads the difference in values, opinions, marriage style, religion, & all of that helps enrich us as humans by getting exposed & mingling with each other.
That is why, I am honored today to hold the microphone MB granted me & candidly dig deeper to give you a closer look of marriage in our culture!
In our religion ”Islam”, it is forbidden for a male & female to indulge in affairs unless they are tied with marriage. The rational justification of this the many problems that may occur from illegitimate relationships that occur such as illegitimate children. In addition to the countless psychological problems that may negatively affect both the society + both the male & female who get really affected when getting involved in affairs that are sometimes temporary, doubtful in continuity, & doesn’t protect both parties.
Marriage in Islam Ladies & Gentlemen is a sacred binding contract that bonds a male & a female and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. Marriage must be declared publicly & divorce is permitted and can be initiated by either party.
What you probably don’t know ladies & gentlemen is that Islam indicates that ladies should never be FORCED into marriage & should always have a say about the man of which they will get married to!
However, sorrowfully some uneducated Arab families have forced their girls into marriage & thus implied to Westerners that this the case in our culture !
I assure you audience that this injustice act made by some uneducated, illiterate families is not in any way related to our religion which touches upon the lives of humans with mercy!
For example, humbly, I am a daughter to parents who strongly believes a girl should receive an equal high standard education just as a boy! I am educated, I have freedom of speech, & I am totally empowered by my family to make my decisions lead by their mentor-ship & advice when needed.
Hmm….you must be wondering??! How does marriage happen then?!!
OK! In conservative societies such as ours, how do we get married??
This is how it goes!
As our religion states, If a lady gets to meet a prospect guy at work, in a family gathering , or elsewhere & he is interested in her, He must first approach her family & come to her house (& not the way around as the west..)
If a guy is interested to know a lady better, he should get permission from her father & then they starts to see whether things goes fine or not…
Yet, what is the other case scenario in which you have not met anyone on the way?!
Just as what happens in the west where a friend, sister, or acquaintance sets you up for a date with some guy they feel might be interesting to you, in our culture the family does that! Families help set up the date! Just as simple as that…:)
In a wedding, a party, or a gathering…Arab ladies mostly tend to be (like all ladies all over the world 😉 interested in being well-dressed, beautiful, & attractive J (must note Arab Ladies love shopping J )
In these social gatherings, parents get exposed to a number of ladies…. & keep hidden intentions looking for a BRIDE for their sons! (just as the ball Cinderella went to when the prince was looking for a BRIDE J ) However, in our case the ball is running all year long J
If a mother happens to like one of the ladies….she gets to approach her family & ask them for that her son meets the daughter!!
Based on so many criteria which families set such as age, education, social status, nationalities, etc.. families either refuse or agree to meet the son!
Then, the Guy meets the Girl!! They get to sit together (OFFICIAL FIRST DATE THING)… to check whether there is a mutual chemistry between them & whether they clicked with one another!
They tend to sit a couple more times together (yet always in the lady’s home ) & if things worked out & they CLICKED! They apparently get engaged!!
If not… then they Both are History to each other!
In our culture lads… ladies are not suppressed nor forced….ladies are just treated with extra super care just as a diamond in a box who should not be touched but by who is indeed serious about wearing this precious diamond..
By this, an Arab lady is somehow less vulnerable to the exploitation & the heart-break which ladies in other societies suffer from!
This is exactly what our religion indicated & how things should go…
However, it is always important to note that some members of our societies started to oppose…
By this, I hope I gave a glance about a culture that may be hidden to many of you!
Hmm..… coming back to my story! Well, like any other lady any else in the world… I have not yet met Mr. RIGHT…& met lotssssssssss of Mr. WRONGS just as the drug dealer with the picture MB saw 😉
At the end, allow me to present to you this little gift that tells more about my culture. I hope you enjoy it:
Remember, NEVER judge the majority by the minority, the minority who serve as bad image models of one’s society….
& forget not to always dig deeper for the truth to prevail…